Angels & Ambulances
Chorus
You pray for angels and I’ll call for ambulances and we’ll be saved and vindicated when they arrive
You thank the lord above and I’ll thank my lucky stars and we’ll live together side by side
I know you think that I’m wrong and you know you’re right
And we both have our reasons to keep our minds locked up tight
It’s ok that you believe the words the ancient prophets wrote
Just be careful not to drown me in whatever floats your boat
Chorus
I know you mean well and you’re afraid of Hell
And I know you think you’re only trying to save me from myself
But try to see that some of us sheep are destined to be goats
And careful not to drown me in whatever floats your boat
Shallow Lake
He and the Mrs. Shoved off near Misery Bay
Sailed around Presque Isle and out into the open lake
That’s when he introduced his wife to the gun that would take her life
He said “sorry baby ”, pulled that trigger, and he tied her tight
Chorus
How much weight does it take? God damn that shallow lake
He could have lived anywhere but no he lived here
I place can look big until you’re hiding bodies. Now there’s no denying
Even this lake ain't great enough to make her disappear
He told the police the story like he’d rehearsed
Like the weather on the lake it changed quick from bad to worse
When she floated up in Chadwick Bay
And ruined a fisherman’s day
The gun was hid under his mattress like dirty magazine
Chorus
Now his alibi is thinner than November ice
He pleading not guilty but he’s hoping that his cellmate’s nice
He’s gonna rot in jail forever
with just one thing to remember
Erie keeps her secrets like a teenage girl
Chorus
All Hat, No Cattle
Look at all them d bags in diesel trucks
Out there clogging all them suburbs up
I think they’re making up for something that they lack
Just look at them truck nuts hanging off the back
You got your chrome tips and your mossy oak trim
The only thing you ever haul is your rachet ass girlfriend
Mommy bought you a diesel just to hear it rattle
You’re all hat and no cattle
Those brand new work boots aint never worked
And I bet that carhart aint never seen the dirt
Your belt buckle’s probably bigger than your penis
You’re about as country as Jason Aldean is
Got that Nickelback country writing your script
You better put another dip in that dipshit lip
Your ass aint never smelled like saddle
You’re all hat and no cattle
The Whisky Does
Your love don’t leave a good taste in my mouth but whiskey does
And on Friday your love don’t go 2 for 1 but whiskey does
Oh when your loves gone I cant go out and buy another one
But when this bottle’s empty who’s got more where that came from?
chorus
The whiskey does The whiskey does
I’ve done everything that I’ve done because
The whiskey does The whiskey does
Sometimes I don’t know who it is I really love but The whiskey does
Talking about you with my mother doesn’t help but the whiskey does
And you’ll never understand that night I fell but The whiskey does
You say no one wants to see me cry or hear me sing the blues
This time girl you’re wrong, honey, have I got news for you
Chorus
Oh you don’t understand those other girls you don’t wanna give this another whirl in a world that just sees oysters who sees pearls?
The whiskey does