Too Dumb (Off to the land of misfit boys)

I went out to Hollywood to be a big music star 

I had my voice down tight and I could pick a little bit of guitar 

I sent my songs out early and they all thought it was cool 

But the dollar signs ran from their eyes when I walked into that room 

They said “son you’ve got a face for the radio” 

“and were sorry but that media died years ago” 

Chorus      Im too dumb for New York and too ugly for LA 

I’m too rude for the great white north and too fat for Tampa Bay 

I’m too much hell for the Bible belt so where am I gonna stay 

Im too dumb for New York and too ugly for LA 

Found myself in New York City looking for a honky tonk scene 

I wound up in a village that didn’t look much like a village to me 

I was hired and set-up in the corner of this swanky little swig and jig 

And I played there every Friday night till the new owner came and cancelled the gig 

He said “son here in the city we have a more sophisticated taste” 

I said “well why do folks scream and stomp their feet every time we play this place”